Make Me Wanna Die

I am obsessed with reading.  I remember being in probably the 5^th grade and my parents gave me a box set of the Chronicles of Narnia for Christmas and before the two-week Christmas break was over I told Mom I was out of books to read and needed more.  I read all of the usual books like Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, Little Women, etc.  In high school, I loved English class and even my college English classes were a breeze.  Please don’t ask me to break down a sentence or find a dangling participle though!

As an adult, I find myself drawn to the YA (Young Adult) or UF (Urban Fantasy) genres of books.  Might I say that I think Urban Fantasy is a horrible description for that particular genre.  I know it makes sense, but I feel like I should be over with the Dungeons and Dragons dudes or LARPing!  Anyway, that is a tangent for another day.

My favorite author of all-time is JK Rowling; I love Jo’s story of how she got the idea for Harry on a train, how she was struggling as a single mother, her philanthropic work but most of all I love the world of Harry Potter that she created.  But again, JK Rowling is a story for another time.  My second favorite author of all-time (although she often takes that top spot, especially after I finish a new book) is Cassandra Clare.

I was first introduced to Cassandra Clare’s work two years ago when one of my girlfriends, Brandie, sent me a boxed set of The Mortal Instruments series.  I called Brandie when I got it and thanked her for the books while thinking in the back of my mind that angels and demons probably weren’t something I was going to be into.  I remember Brandie telling me “I know it’s not your usual style, but I promise you’ll like them!”  I read all 3 books in one long weekend.  Amazing!

*Spoiler Alert*
Do not read if you haven’t read Mortal Instruments or are not finished!

All I can say is that any author that can literally have me rooting for an incestuous relationship is a genius.  I know, if you haven’t read the series, you’re thinking I’m one sick puppy right about now, but rest assured she clears everything up.  However, there are times where you can’t help but thinking that maybe, even if they are related, they could make this work… Just trust me on this and read the books.  You won’t be sorry!

In all seriousness though, I truly believe that any writer who can inspire such strong feelings for something that society has drilled into our brains is wrong is brilliant.

**End Spoiler**

Now, Cassie Clare’s second trilogy, The Infernal Devices, is well under way and the second book, Clockwork Prince, was released last week.  I read it in 24 hours.  When I got to the last part of the book - you know the part I mean, when an author takes your heart, rips it out of your chest and lays it broken, bloody and barely beating out on her alter of her own making – I was sitting at the local Barnes and Noble desperately trying not to cry.  I was on my lunch hour and I admit to being an (over-) emotionally involved reader; I was actually sad the entire rest of the day over what I had read.  I had to go home and reread that emotional train wreck again just so I could shed the tears I had to hold back when I was reading in public.  I felt like I needed Adele’s album on repeat as I tried to mend the heartache caused by fictional characters.

A couple of months ago, I found out Cassandra Clare was going to be in Nashville for the Clockwork Prince book-signing tour.  I pre-ordered my copy of Clockwork Prince shortly thereafter and have been not-so-patiently waiting for the signing.  Last night, my friend Kim and I crossed state lines with a total of 6 books to be signed (I had to get some signed for gifts) and got to the Brentwood, TN Barnes and Noble store about an hour before it was scheduled to start.  We got great seats, or pieces of carpet rather, while others were scattered throughout the maze of bookshelves in the children’s section.  Kim and I figure there were probably between 100 – 150 people there, so it was a great turn out!

When Cassandra made her way through the masses, it resembled the parting of the Red Sea and the whole crowd cheered.  Her assistant, Vania, and the guy that plays Will in the book trailers were both with her.  Because we had such a big crowd she skipped over doing the reading, which did disappoint me a bit, but she quickly made up for it with her great Q and A session.

(Vania took tihs picture and we all thank her for posting on her FaceBook page!)

One of the questions she was asked, and I expect Ms. Clare gets this a lot, was who inspired her to write.  The story she told in response was great!  She said when she was a child, her father was an International Business professor and they moved around a lot.  I believe she said they were living in London when she was young, pre-teen, and she was reading Sherlock Holmes, but suddenly she had read the last book.  She went to her mother and asked for the next Sherlock Holmes book, but her mother said there weren’t any more.  Cassandra asked if they couldn’t just send him a letter to write some more; her young mind couldn’t comprehend the fact that there simply were no more Sherlock Holmes!  When her father explained that the author had died and there wouldn’t be anymore of these books, she said she was devastated and even felt like Sherlock and Watson, whom she had grown to love as friends, had also died.  Then, her father suggested that she write her own Sherlock Holmes books.  Cassandra said she quickly learned that writing made her feel like God!

I would like to take a moment to point out to Cassandra the irony in her running out of Sherlock Holmes books, because I know many of us who don’t ever want to run out of Shadowhunter books!

I loved the warmth that Cassandra gave off as she spoke to us.  It felt as though we were all enveloped in her world, as if her hand gestures weaved some magical spell and put us in a trance where we were hanging onto her every word.  In all actuality, her own words were the magic spell, creating a common interest for people of all ages, backgrounds and interests.  I’m not at all sure that authors know the kind of power they have, not over the characters they can animate like puppets on strings, but on their audience who become addicted to the written word like a moth drawn to a flame.

*Spoiler Alert!*

Do not read if you haven’t read Clockwork Prince!

Cassandra was wonderful at telling us about how Will was supposed to be when he was originally written.  In the books, Will is always lying about where he has been, about his drinking and frequenting the brothels but when she first wrote Will, that is how he really was.  She said that the publishers questioned her, noting if Will was this bad off at seventeen, would he really live, or be able, to redeem himself?  Something else that she pointed out is that we, as her audience, are too forgiving of Will.  His acts towards Tessa in the attic were atrocious and unforgivable for the Victorian time period.  Where as Jem, being a gentleman, he kissed her and he liked it, so he put a ring on it!  No, there’s nothing better than a Beyonce reference – and those were her words, not mine!

To the idiotic, selfish, inconsiderate chick who RUINED the book for the people at the signing that were waiting until they got their book last night to read it: How dare you wreck the biggest, most pivotal part of this book by opening your thoughtless trap and stating flat out that Tessa and Jem got engaged!

Yes, my friends, the mother of all spoilers (after Snape kills Dumbledore) was spouted off by a moron of a woman at the signing last night.  A gasp went through the crowd and all Cassandra Clare could do was laugh out of pure shock that the [insert antonym for dummy - I've ran out of words...] .  “I didn’t think you were going to be THAT specific” she said good-naturedly.  The poor girl sitting next to me, her mouth dropped open and she looked like someone had licked the red off her lollipop!  “I haven’t read it yet” she cried!  I felt so bad for the others that also hadn’t read the book or gotten to the ending yet.  Cassie handled the whole scenario with more grace than I would have because she just laughed as this punk spilled the beans.  Personally, I think that woman, and I use that term loosely, should be banned from any future signings and/or Q and A sessions.

I was so appalled that Kim had to even remind me what the dork’s question was in the first place.  The woman talked in circles as she was trying to be vague; she completely befuddled Cassandra and everyone as we tried to decipher what the question was.  After we recovered from her word vomit, it turns out she wanted to know why Jem and Tessa got engaged, but not Jase and Clary.  Apparently the fact that she can read books did not mean she was intelligent or else she would have figured out that there is a vast difference in courting back in the Victorian era versus today.  At the time Jem and Tessa were together, marriage was the appropriate and expected step.  As Cassie mentioned, thank goodness I’m not married to the first boy I kissed!  Or the second, or third, or twenty-third!  Hey, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince.  I’m still searching!
*End Spoiler*

I was very disappointed in the audience members that chose to get up while the Q and A session was still going on.  Not only was it disruptive but it was disrespectful to Cassandra Clare, Vania, Will (who stubbornly refused to take his shirt off the whole time) and the Barnes and Noble staff who had put in a lot of effort for the event.  It appeared to be adults who started this madness as well, which I think is deplorable.  If it were kids, I would just assume they either hadn’t been taught any manners growing up or that they were just so excited they couldn’t wait.  Still, it was very disappointing and I think because of this, the Q and A was cut short.

I had my hand raised to ask a question and I didn’t get called on, but I will throw it out here for you all.  My question was going to be this:  is there going to be a companion for the series that will be a compilation of all of the known runes and a family tree.  I feel like I am cramming for a test sometimes when I read The Infernal Devices and have to grab The Mortal Instruments for reference! 

One of the girls that we were in line with said that she had read there was to be a Codex, like what Tessa is reading throughout Clockwork Angel and Clockwork Prince.

While in the long line, Kim and I made friends with the people behind us.  They were obviously younger, but very nice and such well-read individuals!  We all exchanged book recommendations and after the Q and A, I think we have all decided to read, or reread as the case may be, A Tale of Two Cities.

When I finally got to speak to Cassandra, she was very nice!  I told her how much I appreciated her talking with us and realized that I had been saying some of the words wrong, like nephilim (it’s NEF-a-lum, not ne-FEEL-lium).  She said that there is a pronunciation guide for the narrators for the audio books and that she thinks it would be a good idea to get that out so the fans can see it.  I agree whole heartedly & if that happens, feel free to send gifts and flowers to me to show your gratitude.

All in all, it was a great time with a great author!  If you haven’t read Cassandra Clare’s work and don’t consider this a ringing endorsement, well, I don’t think there is much hope for you.  If you are looking for a great series, that is not Twilighty, and not as hard-core as the adult fantasy fiction, give this author a chance!  There is the eternal struggle between good and evil, love triangles, action and some really cool weapons.  Yes, even the guys will like it!

Lastly, if you read any of my blogs, you will notice they all have song names as titles.  I have no reason to believe Cassandra Clare was rocking out to The Pretty Reckless, yet I couldn’t help but feeling the same angst-ridden emotions clawing at the pit of my stomach when I read Will’s character and when I listen to that band.  If you need proof, here is the first verse, chorus and second verse to Make Me Wanna Die:

Take me - I'm alive,
Never was a girl with a wicked mind,
But everything looks better,
When the sun goes down.
I had everything: opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night.
Your eyes, your eyes,
I can see…in your eyes, your eyes.

You make me wanna die,
I'll never be good enough.
You make me wanna die
And everything you love
Will burn up in the light
Every time I look inside your eyes.
You make me wanna die.

Taste me, drink my soul,
Show me all the things, that I shouldn't know,
When there's a blue moon on the rise.
I had everything:
Opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night.
Your eyes, your eyes
I can see… in your eyes, your eyes
Everything…in your eyes, your eyes.

Thank you Vania for posting this picture of the money shot!


Addendum: The adorable Carson Nicely that plays Will in TID trailers is on FaceBook and Twitter.  Make sure to check him out!