Alright With Me

It would seem that ever since I set this blog up, I've had absolutely nothing to blog about!  Go figure.  So... I thought I'd give you all a quick update just to say hi.  Lots of people have asked if I've heard anymore from crazy, weirdo baseball guy and the answer to that is (thankfully) no!  Kicking strange individuals off your MySpace/Facebook page is utterly liberating.  I highly recommend it.


Went to Ohio a couple of weeks ago with my friend Chad to help him out with a barrel racing clinic.  The days were long and nights were short but we survived both the 2-day one-way trip without wanting to kill each other. 


Oh, I've also decided that I'm never getting married.  What led to this life-changing decision you ask?  The fact that I watched my parents move in a new fridge and stove yesterday.  Hello insanity!  I'm pretty sure I don't ever want any part of that craziness.  No thank you!  But congrats to my girl TamiG on getting engaged and the fast-approaching wedding.  Much love to you sweets!


A random tidbit of nothingness: I to speak insurance companies all day at work and last week, when I realized I had said "E, as in Edward" 5 times in a row, I panicked slightly thinking I sounded like a huge Twilight geek (and yeah, I've already got my tickets for Eclipse this weekend... don't judge me!).  But today, I found someone worse than me.  Whatever claim number she was giving me apparently had the letters "E" and "J" next to each other and as she is reading the number she says "E, as in Edward. J, as in Jacob."  Hahahahahaha!  I was this close to asking her if she was a Twilight freak, but I refrained as I was actually trying to be professional.  Still, even I don't say "J, as in Jacob."  :)


Hopefully I'll have some exciting news about singing to share with you all soon, but it's best not to put the cart in front of the horse, right? 


I love comments like a fat kid loves cake... ok, like I love cake!

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I need more structure in my life.  Or maybe I need a personal assistant to keep me on track.  Could I interest anyone in that position?  It would require the following:


Making sure I get up before 7:00 - I have to be at work at 8:00, so you can see how the timing gets a little tricky on the days I can't find my keys (or fall asleep in the shower, or sleep walk over to my alarm & turn it off without realizing it).


Managing my finances - This shouldn't be a particulary hard job seeing as how I spend it as quickly as I make it, but it could probably be alloted out a little more appropriately.  Sometimes, the satellite bill should be paid before new shoes are bought, but my mind doesn't always comprehend that thought.


Motivating me to exercise - I'd prefer you to be like that drill seargent guy from Celebrity Fit Club that screams at the fatties.  If you could dangle a cupcake in front of my face (like that trick with a carrot in front of a donkey in the cartoons), I'm pretty sure that could get me interested in moving.


Making me practice singing & guitar - Alright, so singing isn't so much of an issue as the guitar.  The ability to give me guitar lessons is a plus.  Must be able to tolerate my constant whining about hurting fingers & exuberent gushing of pride when my fingers bleed (which will be followed by relentless quoting of one line of Bryan Adams' "Summer of '69").  I will feel badass - you should acknowledge my badassness.


Making me ride my horse - Not so much in practice, but making sure I actually GET to the barrel race.  Drill seargent Harvey attitude would probably be effective in this capacity as well.


The benefits to being my personal manager include, but are not limited to, continual witty commentary provided by yours truly, room & board (how do you feel about an air mattress?), and transportation as I will find you entirely too valuable to ever leave my side so I will take you everywhere.  No monitary compensation, 401K or health insurance is offered (because, well hey - you'll see my finances) but I'm sure my company will be reward enough.


I love comments like a fat kid loves cake (ok - so I love them like I love cake!) - so make sure to leave 'em!

Up On The Ridge

Bear with me as I let my inner music nerd lose for a few moments.  Last night I went to the church of country and bluegrass music: Ryman Auditorium.  I almost felt like I should take my shoes off for entering hallowed ground as I walked up the steps covered in thick carpet colored cranberry red.  The staircase looked like something that belongs in Gone With the Wind and once inside I passed glass cases filled with treasures.  Porter Wagoner's rhinestone suit, Dolly Parton's dress, outfits worn by Johnny and June and a Martin guitar played by a bluegrass legend were just a small selection of this country music time capsule.  I searched for the ghost of Minnie Pearl but only found her hat with the trademark price tag (Minnie held me once when I was a baby, I'm proud to say!).  The stained glass windows let in a rainbow of light and the entire building seemed to pulsate with history.  When I think of all the legends that have walked those steps, maybe even sat in the seat where I was, I couldn't help but get emotional.

I'd been dying to go to Ryman Auditorium for a while, but I wanted to find just the right person to see my first time there.  Call me biased, but I couldn't go see Hole at The Ryman.  It's just not right.  So, I was excited to actually win tickets to Dierks Bentley (from a Twitter contest no less).  With all due respect to Dierks, I'd never seen him live before and wondered if it would be any good... but then I saw that this was actually a bluegrass tour and part of the Del McCoury band was going to be with him.  Well, anything that Del McCoury's band plays is phenomenal so I was getting pretty excited.  When we saw Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton in February at the Grand Ole Opry, Del's band was playing and I nearly peed myself I was so excited!

A couple of the perks of winning the Ryman contest on Twitter was a hatch show print AND a meet and greet.  The entire experience was amazing!  I am beyond happy that my first concert at the Ryman was this show.  Hayes Carll opened the show and he wasn't really bluegrass; more like rockabilly.  I looked him up online and saw he was from Austin, Texas, which explains the red dirt sound he had.  Dierks was accompanied by the Travelin' McCourys and as I said before, they are mind-blowing (even Kristen who is not what you'd call a fan of bluegrass music was impressed at these guy's skills).  I was happy to see the great songwriter John Randall there too and learn that he'd been instrumental in this album.  As the show progressed, Chris Thile (formerly of Nickle Creek) and his new band, Punch Brothers, came out and rocked a few songs.  Chris reminds me a little of John Mayer in that when he's playing, it's like the entire room just fades away and he is alone with his mandolin.  It's intimate and you almost feel like you're intruding to watch.  But watch I did, as well as hoot and holler like a seasoned concert goer who was thoroughly enjoying herself.  Then, when I didn't think it could get any better, Del McCoury came out on stage and did a duet with Dierks.  I'm not lying, they did a bluegrass version of the U2 song "Pride (In the Name of Love)".  Never has a U2 song sounded so good.

In my own little way, I unleash my sentimental musical self on you as an inadequate way to say thank you to everyone involved with the Up On the Ridge tour and to every musical genius that has walked the halls of Ryman Auditorium.  Also, thanks to Lisaann at the Ryman for being so great at keeping in touch and giving me such an amazing opportunity.  I'm off to find a thesaurus as the word "amazing" has lost it's power due to my over-use in the last 24 hours.

She's A Big Star

You may have noticed that a lot of my blog titles are actually song titles that I ganked because they seemed to fit whatever mood I'm in, or whatever I'm inclined to blog about at any given time.  Today's title is no different.  Saturday I'll be heading to Portsmouth, Ohio for my first singing gig in, oh, I don't know how long.  It's been literally four years as best as I recall.  Not that I haven't been known to get my karaoke on after a few drinks (Who am I kidding?  I'm a microphone whore; I'll karaoke stone sober...).  Also thanks to some awesome friends who play (Lee Harvey & the Ministers of Death) I'll occasionally rock a mic if I'm out while they're playing.


Which brings me to Saturday... this will be an "opry" style show, with the house band doing a few songs & I'm the featured guest.  I'll sing five to seven songs with a fun wardrobe change during intermission.  Am I nervous?  Nah.  I know I can sing, I know I can perform (although I have been known to forget the words once or twice) & I know when I'm on the stage, I'll feel like I'm the queen of the world.  I'll even be all professional, not eating any dairy products the day of the show & refrain from doing that "ahem" thing to clear my throat.  So, nervous?  Nope.  Excited?  HELL YEAH!  Getting ready for this show has made me realize how much I've missed singing.


There are a few things I still need to do to be spot-on Saturday night:
Practice, practice, practice
Get a second outfit together
Find one of the largest bags I own & stuff it full with every tube of make-up, styling product, accessories, etc that I own
Charge the video camera so I can prove I was there


Lots to do, but it'll get done.  Fingers are crossed for a safe trip, a good show & hopefully a return spot on the Southern Ohio Opry.

Plush

It's Thursday night & what am I doing?  I'm watching Vampire Diaries.  Seriously, I'm entirely too into this show.  Oh how I wish Mystic Falls were a real place - it's like the town of hot men.  It should be a law that once a week these guys have to walk around without shirts. 


On a totally different subject, I had a major scare this morning.  I was getting ready for work this morning rocking out to Stone Temple Pilots' Plush via iTunes.  All of the sudden, my laptop just shut down & flashed up the black screen of death.  It had some error that I was too wigged out to comprehend, but it was something to the effect of "no drivers could be found".  Of course, this was at the exact moment I needed to walk out the door, so I had to spend the entire work day worried about my baby!  She's not new & she's not perfect, but I don't know that I could function without her!  Well, I could, but I don't want to try. 


Anyway, I made it home & ran directly to my computer - booted her up & the anticipation I felt while waiting for her was indescribable.  I nervously drummed my fingers by the touch pad until she booted up just like normal.  I have no idea what kind of sick joke that was, but I'm so relieved that it's not serious.  Just to be safe though, I'm currently backing up everything on my computer onto an external hard drive.


Well, this has basically been a rambling blog about nothing, but sometimes I need to just get it all out. 


Until next time - may I recommend you be careful when listening to Stone Temple Pilots!

Another One Bites The Dust...

In case anyone read "Good Love Is On the Way" & was dying for an update - here it is.  I just can't help myself & this time around I'm not being nice when it comes to picking apart everything he said… When I last blogged, I sent John Doe a message back the other day asking if he was drunk (because really???) & said he’d have to give me more details about himself before I agreed to anything. Last night, in the middle of the night might I add, I got hit with a barrage of messages from him. Here they go:




Message 1:
was not drunk y did u think that? i always liked u n thought a lot of u. i thought u were sexy n true to ur self i love that. i have no kids i work at companyxzy a mental hospital, n help kids. i do see some one but i dont respect them like i do u . ive known u for a long time , i always wanted to have fun with u. can we do that. get a room go out and see were we stand? i played minor league ball. i had a lot of girls wanting me for money n fame. i always thought u were sexy n respectful n high schoolo. im sry to be so blunt but i always wanted u. thats y can we go out n spend the night together to see were we stand? John Doe


Message 2:
I was not drunk. ok? ive always thought alot of u n high school. i think ur beatiuful n so, so sexy. ive always wanted to be with u , think we have alot n comening. i want to get together n get hotel room n see were we stand . lets talk , n swim, n drink, n , have love. i think me n u can have lots of fun together. no i have no kids,
n no im not engaged. i played minor league baseball n had lots of girls wanting me for my money. if u have someone thats fine just let us have a good time together, n make each other feel good. ur bestest ever John Doe. love!


Message 3:
i work at companyxyz. its a mental health hospital. i also taught n coached high school baseball. i played semi pro ball n had several pro try outs. i also played in the minors in the independent league. i would like to just go out n have fun together.


Keep in mind that I didn't get a chance to even reply to one of these messages before the next two came in.  For your reading pleasure, I’ve interjected my thoughts below. You’ll know they are my comments because I use complete words, capitalization, etc.


was not drunk y did u think that? Oh, I don’t know – just a hunch. i always liked u n thought a lot of u. i thought u were sexy n true to ur self i love that. i have no kids i work at companyxyz a mental hospital, n help
kids. Let's all pray you don't help them with their homework! i do see some one but i dont respect them like i do u Right there, you just solidified yourself as a douche bag.  Mission accomplished. ive known u for a long time No, you haven’t – in the 6 years we went to school together, I can’t recall one memorable conversation & I haven’t seen you since graduation. , i always wanted to have fun with u. can we do that. get a room go out and see were we stand? Did I read that right? i played minor league ball. i had a lot of girls wanting me for money n fame Oh, he is SOOO barking up the wrong tree if he thinks that impresses me. i always thought u were sexy n respectful n high schoolo. im sry to be so blunt but i always wanted u. thats y can we go out n spend the night together to see were we stand? Um, that’s a HELL no. John Doe


Basically, my train of thought follows the same track for the second & third messages he sent. So, I reply back – because I’m definitely awake at this point. Here’s what I write:


See here's the thing, you haven't seen me in years. So spare me the bullshit line about "respecting me" or even about me being sexy because there's no way you could know that to be true. No, I'll not get a room with you & "see where we stand". And obviously you have no idea what I'm like if you think this crazy message is the way to get with me.


Find someone else to be your booty call...


I’m not always so nice when I get woken up in the middle of the night (especially by some asshat who I haven't talked to in 16 years!). What can I say? Of course, he responds. Y’all – I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up if I TRIED. Once again I get two messages from him:


Message 1:
im sry i know that n ur right. i respect u. its not a botty call. ok. i was just saying that i thought u were sexy in high school n i didnt act on that. i saw ur picks n i still think u r pretty n sexy ok. i respect u n i would never try to hurt u. ok? i was just saying i thought mayb we can get together n have fun thats all ok? im not that type of person. i thought u already knew from high school.


Message 2 (Now this second one is PRICELESS. The subject is “plse listen im respectful. u know that.”):
i always thought alot of u n high school. i just never had the guts to tell u. i always was ur friend. right? i also always took up for u even when u didnt know it. i respect u. its not just a booty call, its respect n love. i was just sayn lets go out n see were we stand, or see what happens. were friends i always liked u i would never hurt u. i always took up for u n high school. i respect u. u know im a good guy. i just thought we at least could go out n have fun together. a room dont mean nothing. i was just saying go to eat, go to a movie n if we got a room just go swimming or a hot tub n just have fun n talk. if we have something then we will know it. commen sense. right. just wanting to have fun n see wat we can have together ok? nothing wrong wit that right? i was just trying to talk to you,n see if you wanted to go out. ok? i was a good friend to u n high school
just thought we could have something now. John


Oh yeah – I’m definitely picking this one apart:
i always thought alot of u n high school. i just never had the guts to tell u. Ok, I’ll admit – that is kinda cool. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a romantic (don’t worry, it doesn’t last). i always was ur friend. right? Beats the hell out of me – I don’t remember much about you. also always took up for u even when u didnt know it. i respect u. What high school did you go to because I'm pretty sure I wasn't there. its not just a booty call, its respect n love. Did he seriously just use that 4-letter word? LOVE?!?!?!? I need my rubber boots because the shiz is getting deep! i was just sayn lets go out n see were we stand, or see what happens. were friends i always liked u i would never hurt u. Yeah, you would. You’re a guy (I know, I know – jaded much?) i always took up for u n high school. I don’t remember being a damsel in distress all through high school! Did I block out the painful memories? i respect u. u know im a good guy. No, but I do know that right now you are successfully being a skeezy guy. i just thought we at least could go out n have fun together. a room dont mean nothing Uh, it KINDA does when it’s a date. I’m just saying. i was just saying go to eat, go to a movie n if we got a room just go swimming or a hot tub n just have fun n talk. Ol’ dude would stop with the “sexy” talk if he saw me in a swimsuit! if we have something then we will know it. commen sense. Is that anything like common sense? right. just wanting to have fun n see wat we can have together ok? nothing wrong wit that right? i was just trying to talk to you,n see if you wanted to go out. ok? i was a good friend to u n high school just thought we could have something now. Again – WTF is with you thinking we were BFF’s in high school? I’m pretty sure we weren’t!! John


I didn’t have the energy to reply back with much of a response – everything I started to type came out sounding like a Queen Bitch so instead, I said this:


Look, it's the middle of the night. I've got to work in the morning & need to get some sleep. I'll get back to you tomorrow about all if this.


However, the more I think about it - the more I'm thinking the d-bag doesn't get to suck up any more of my time.  And is it just me, or did those messages from him come off as desperate to the point of badgering?  In all seriousness, I didn't get a good vibe from the "tone".


All I can say is that if this is what's swimming around in the no-tell-motel dating pool, I'm out!


Signing off to go find out about getting my concealed carry license.  I think I may need it... LOL!

Good Love Is On The Way

As a 30-something-year-old, I maintain that being single is hard. The dating pool is full of shady, sketchy characters with questionable backgrounds. Sometimes I find out a little too late that they are unemployed, have some baby-mama-drama, or are already in a committed relationship with someone. Then occasionally, there are these random things that come out of nowhere that I don’t even know how to respond to. For example, at 1:30am on Wednesday I got a notification on my phone that said someone on MySpace had sent me a message (and no, I didn’t jump on & read it at 1:30 – I’m practicing self-control). I went back to sleep, opened it the next morning as I was getting ready for work & was surprised to find it was from a guy I had went to school with but didn’t really know. This is what it said (trust me; I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried):



Subject: HEY PRETTY GIRL


HEY GIRL THIS IS “JOHN DOE” WATS GOING ON SEXY? JUST SEEING HOW YOU WERE DOING AND WOUNDERING IF YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET TOGEHER N HAVE SOME FUN? i HAVE ALWAYS RESPECTD YOU IN ALWAYS THOUGHT ALOT OF YOU. HOLLA AT ME SEXY.


For real? Of course, being a girl, I over-think this whole thing. On one hand I wonder if he’s drunk or high because where the hell does he get off calling me sexy? I say this based solely on the fact that he hasn’t seen me in sixteen years (OMG – 16? Ick!). But wait, he did actually have the nerve to send it. But it sounds sort of skeezy, doesn’t it? Plus, he just butchered the entire English language, making a mockery of capitalization, grammar, punctuation and spelling in a mere four sentences. But boys don’t care about that stuff, so it’s probably not important. But why would I want to go on a date with a guy who can’t spell? And, as my dear friend Jeni pointed out, the whole “I respect you thing” often translates into “let me do dirty things to you”.


I replied back & asked if he was drunk. Hey, at this point in the game, I call it like I see it. I didn’t completely blow him off; I did tell him if he was serious then he’d need to give me more details on job, kids, current wife, fiancé or girlfriend. IF I get a reply back, and IF it sounds slightly more put together than something a drunken frat boy would write, THEN we’ll see what happens. If not, no love lost. And if, on the off-chance John Doe* is reading this… well, two things: 1) Consider yourself fortunate that you made it into the blog. Others haven’t been as fortunate. 2) Here you go: a ready-made hand book of things to do.


Single ladies – stick together. It’s an ugly world out there!


*Names have been changed… not for protection, just out of courtesy. :)