Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

I need more structure in my life.  Or maybe I need a personal assistant to keep me on track.  Could I interest anyone in that position?  It would require the following:


Making sure I get up before 7:00 - I have to be at work at 8:00, so you can see how the timing gets a little tricky on the days I can't find my keys (or fall asleep in the shower, or sleep walk over to my alarm & turn it off without realizing it).


Managing my finances - This shouldn't be a particulary hard job seeing as how I spend it as quickly as I make it, but it could probably be alloted out a little more appropriately.  Sometimes, the satellite bill should be paid before new shoes are bought, but my mind doesn't always comprehend that thought.


Motivating me to exercise - I'd prefer you to be like that drill seargent guy from Celebrity Fit Club that screams at the fatties.  If you could dangle a cupcake in front of my face (like that trick with a carrot in front of a donkey in the cartoons), I'm pretty sure that could get me interested in moving.


Making me practice singing & guitar - Alright, so singing isn't so much of an issue as the guitar.  The ability to give me guitar lessons is a plus.  Must be able to tolerate my constant whining about hurting fingers & exuberent gushing of pride when my fingers bleed (which will be followed by relentless quoting of one line of Bryan Adams' "Summer of '69").  I will feel badass - you should acknowledge my badassness.


Making me ride my horse - Not so much in practice, but making sure I actually GET to the barrel race.  Drill seargent Harvey attitude would probably be effective in this capacity as well.


The benefits to being my personal manager include, but are not limited to, continual witty commentary provided by yours truly, room & board (how do you feel about an air mattress?), and transportation as I will find you entirely too valuable to ever leave my side so I will take you everywhere.  No monitary compensation, 401K or health insurance is offered (because, well hey - you'll see my finances) but I'm sure my company will be reward enough.


I love comments like a fat kid loves cake (ok - so I love them like I love cake!) - so make sure to leave 'em!